the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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