I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
