I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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