i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
