There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He better not be in your backpack
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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