Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
