im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
