its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
