I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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