that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Quick, to the slutcave!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
