Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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