I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
