I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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