3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
