And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
3 2 1 whiskey
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
