Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
did you just send me my own nude
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
