So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
