margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
