How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
