I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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