Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
