It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
