Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
