Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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