The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have post one night stand depression
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