The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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