Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
