apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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