so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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