I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
