Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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