Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
