I didn't shave. On purpose
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
