And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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