Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize