I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
