tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
