what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
