i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
