I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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