If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
