Ambien. No doubt about it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
