I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
