Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
