you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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