Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
