So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
