The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
