I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
