therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
