no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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