In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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