peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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